With much help from those who’ve been doing this longer than me (thanks Michael and Sarah), our student ministry has created a 4-week experience that involves teens and parents learning and discussing important topics together. We offer this experience every two years so that every teenager has this opportunity. Though this is my third time to facilitate, it’s the first time I’ve been a participant because my oldest daughter is a 7^th grader.  As you might imagine, my perspective has changed. I thought I’d share some reflections thus far (We’ve completed two sessions).

First, one of the greatest values so far has been the relationship-building. We’re discovering more about other families as we discuss important topics.  Last night my daughter heard not only my wife, but also three other parents and two teenagers her age talk about salvation, what it means to them, and how to receive it.

Related, it creates the opportunity for Julia to connect with other adults. This week she gets to interview someone she has identified as important to her faith journey. She looks up to this person as an example of faith. The coolest thing about this is that this person has no idea that she’s been this kind of influence on my daughter. Invaluable!

Second, it connects us parents on a deeper level as we discuss, not parenting strategies, but the core values and the most important things we want for our children with an older couple who serve as mentors for this series. I’m moved by this because for the first time in nearly 12 years of ministry I’m sitting with parents of teens as a peer rather than their youth minister. It’s been refreshing to listen to other parents ask questions I’ve been asking myself about my daughter.

Third, it’s creating space for Deana and I to talk openly and more intentionally with our daughter about salvation, faith, our stories, the Gospel and more. We’ve had homework each week that has been great.  We’re reconnecting with her through this experience.

I’m sure there are more observations that will come in the next two weeks, but these few are significant. Connecting our teens to others who speak truth into their lives is important. Creating relationships that are spiritually rich is essential.

What are some intentional ways you connect your children or students to others in ways that are faith shaping?

Every year at Christmas, there was a party for the children. We would make Christmas ornaments, eat cookies and play tag. I broke my arm jumping out of the back of a truck in fourth grade doing that.

I remember singing at a nursing home on a regular basis. The entire church would be a part of this – young and old alike.

The summer we entered 8^th grade, one man at church would invite all of the boys on a backpacking trip. My very first backpacking trip was a four-night, 12-mile hike. There were eight of us boys from 13-18 years old and two adults. My best friend lost his glasses and spilled honey all over his pack that trip. We tried to catch fish with our bare hands. We ate bacon and drank sodas around a campfire. These trips became a rite of passage for the boys in our church.

I realized something recently. My little church was practicing youth ministry. When I look back at those years, I can see how a small group of people were investing in one another’s children. We basically did life together.  We didn’t have a designated youth minister, but we did have a few people who took it upon themselves to lead the way. They worked hard to find time for us and loved us like we were their own children. They organized classes, planned parties, took us skiing and to church camp. Youth ministry was happening. We weren’t simply one church doing everything together. We weren’t completely isolated by age. We were just 12-15 families working together to do the best we could to teach children to love the Lord and follow Jesus.

I’m in youth ministry because of the church I grew up in. I’m in youth ministry because I was deeply influenced by other adults who loved me enough to lead me to Christ and walk with me through my childhood. I’m in youth ministry because I want students to choose to follow Jesus.

I believe in youth ministry because I’ve seen the power and influence it can be in the life of young people in leading them to Christ and setting them on a lifelong journey following Jesus.

How have you seen youth ministry succeed? What stories do you have?

“You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you’re going because you might night get there.”

“If you don’t know where you’re going, you will wind up somewhere else.”

Yogi Berra

After a weekend away with some high school students I’ve spent the past couple of days writing ministry goals for 2012. Early in my ministry career goal writing was something I resisted. I struggled with the concept of looking ahead to what I would like to accomplish. It seemed so spiritless.  Then I looked at Jesus in the gospels. Though I don’t think he wrote down goals, it seems he moved with intentionality. In other words, he had an end in mind as he ministered to people for three years. He didn’t seem to do things randomly. Don’t get me wrong. I think he left room for spontaneity, but I think he had a clear mission and a vision for how to carry it out.

I’ve since learned how spirit-led this process can be for me. Goal setting forces me to slow down, reflect on where I’ve been, where our student ministry has been, and where we think God is leading us. It’s not a rigid, unchangeable process. It’s a picture of what could be.

I’ve discovered that goal writing helps me in three ways. First, it forces me to prioritize resources and time, budget and activities, projects and teaching content. Effective goal writing forces me to plan with the end in mind.

Second, it allows me to say no to things. Well established goals provide parameters for how I spend my time, what I do, how I spend money. Though not rigid parameters I will look long and hard before doing something outside a goal area or changing a goal.

Finally, goal writing allows me to sit back at the end of the year and evaluate. It’s difficult to evaluate something if you haven’t established the standard for evaluation. Goals provide that standard.

Do you set goals for your ministry? If so, how do you go about it? What suggestions would you have for others?

This post was inspired by a recent blog post by Brandon Baker, a friend and fellow youth minister. You can read his post about asking questions HERE.

As one trained in education I was taught the importance of asking the right questions. Questions can lead to understanding, learning, and discovering. They can lead to more questions. The right questions unlock mystery, create mystery, and insight wonder.  Questions can deepen relationships and create greater intimacy.  When writing an exam, I worked tirelessly at creating questions that helped me assess the depth of understanding my students had of important concepts.

As a youth minister, I work just as hard phrasing questions that allow me to know my students better, help lead them to understanding, create community and discovery.

As a parent of a preteen I’m learning the art of asking the right questions. Questions like, “How was your day?” no longer lead to discussions and discovery about my daughter. Honestly, I’m still discovering the questions that unlock the mysteries of my daughter, but I’m getting better. I’m also learning the context in which to ask and the timing of the questions. It’s easy to want to give up asking questions and instead turn up the music, but I refuse. I refuse to stop seeking to know my child better, to ask the right questions, to walk with her as she becomes more like Christ.  I want to be slow to speak and quick to listen. Questions allow for this to happen.

Instead of “Did you have fun?” I’m trying to ask questions like, “What is one specific truth you learned today?” or “What is one thing you discovered today?”

When it comes to your teen, what questions are you asking? I’d love to hear your ideas and thoughts.

Some things I’m considering (thanks to my friend):

1. Time in the Word. Yes, I’m a minister. Yes, I read my Bible, study and pray. But most of it is to prepare lessons, pray for ministry, family, etc. I look forward to spending more time in the Word and with the Lord just for the sake of being with the Lord. To this end, I’m considering one of You Version’s reading plans. I highly recommend You Version if you don’t have a Bible reading plan.

2. I plan to read, write and blog more. This provides a space to share my own journey as well as learn from others. I would like to read more fiction. Watch more documetaries, share more thoughts and journey together with others as we strive to become more like Christ.

3. Work on eating habits and overall health. I turned 40 at the end of this year, have a family history of heart disease. No promises or resolutions other than I will work to make improvements to take care of myself in ways that make me more available to be a better father, husband, minister, friend.

Nothing major or earthshattering. Just some thoughts running through my mind on this last day of 2011. Thanks to my friend, David, who continues to inspire, mentor and challenge me.

“God told me what to do with the rest of my life.” City councilwoman who sold a business, retired and now fights to improve southwest Little Rock

Two experiences in the past 3 days have had a tremendous impact on me. One was a driving tour of southwest Little Rock; the other a phone call.

It wasn’t so much what I was shown about southwest Little Rock that left an impression. It was the heart of a woman who should be retired and enjoying an easy life. Instead, she serves our city and takes time to give a poor youth pastor like myself a tour of her city on a Friday morning. I was struck by how much she loves her community and how she tries so hard to listen to God. I was impressed by how she genuinely grieved over hearing tragic news of the death of someone she didn’t know but loved anyways. I heard the passion in her voice for a community and neighborhood most people have given up on.  I got out of her car realizing how much I missed by not taking time to look.

My conversation was with a man I’ve never met, but look forward to meeting in July. A man who loves a city many have given up. This man loves his city, weeps for it, and works with all his heart to join God in rebuilding lives one wall at a time, one project at a time, one person at a time. He welcomes hundreds of volunteers and mission groups each year to his city. After answering my questions about lodging and other details the tone in his voice changed as he revealed his heart. He spoke of walking through life, taking time to look deeper than the obvious need and connecting people to the heart of God by loving and serving others.

And then it dawned on me. I don’t take time to look deeply. Rather than look at life, others, my community like one would a painting I take a quick glance out of the corner of my eye while running by. I want to slow down and take everything in. I want to walk at a pace that enables me to not just notice but see beyond the surface.

“There’s a difference, it seems to me, between the form of religion and the content of religion. Right now, I’ve got all the form and not much of the content.”

What Roose describes about himself in his book, The Unlikley Disciple, could be called going through the motions.  It doesn’t really matter what you call it, but I find myself in that position from time to time. I find myself engaging in Christian practices such as singing, prayer, Bible reading and other practices. While doing these, I can act a whole lot more like a Christ-follower than I feel like I am. I can get the form down, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I’ve got the content. It’s like learning how to do the steps of a math problem without understanding the concept behind the steps. Just do A, B and C and you’ll get the right answer whether you understand why those steps are needed.

But unlike math, just getting the form down doesn’t really work… at least for very long. Simply doing A, B and C doesn’t always lead to the “right answer,” if you will, in the case of faith. I’ve discovered, at least for me, that my faith requires that I change practices and routines from time to time. In other words, the form sometimes looks different.

For example, I’ve become more contemplative and reflective. I’ve moved from being more expressive in worship to being quiet and still. There are times I love to sing in a worship assembly, but in general, I find myself being still, mulling over the words, wanting to kneel rather than stand, wanting to bow my head rather than raise my hands. Years ago, I would have stood and raised my hands, belting out the lyrics without much thought, (to Deana’s amusement many of my interpretations changed the meaning of songs). I used to feel a sense of guilt if I didn’t sing every word of every song. I’ve gotten over that.

I used to look around at others, read what others do to grow in their faith, and then simply copy the practices I thought were good hoping it would “work” for me. If there were certain songs sung that most people raised their hands during, I sang those songs with hands raised high hoping I’d connect in ways I thought they were. If there was a well-liked devotional or method of praying I’d practice it even if I knew it really wasn’t me hoping to expreince what others wrote or talked about. I’d keep at it no matter what hoping for the best. While it was easy to find something someone was doing and copy it, it rarely worked.

So, I began exploring. I read authors like Mark Link SJ, Thomas Merton, John of the Cross, Teresa of Avilla, Dallas Willard and others opened doors to me of varying approaches to growing in my faith. I experimented with practices and habits I had never done before. I didn’t practice these simply because others did. I didn’t practice them hoping I would have a similar experience as those who wrote about them did. I practiced them in order to find my own approach to growing in my faith. As I did this, I began to discover a living and growing faith.

I don’t read my Bible because I was told to. Although this year, I am reading through the whole Bible. I don’t raise my hands hoping it produces some feeling in a song. I raise my hands to acknowledge my dependence on God or as an expression of thankfulness. I don’t pray at meals because it’s what I learned to do. I do it because I’m working to make prayer part of the fabric of my daily life so that I can pause and spend just a moment in silence and communication with the God who knows me better than I know myself. I don’t attend Bible class because I’m expected to. I do so because someone else might just have something to speak into my life that I might miss had I not been there. I no longer practice every discipline at the same time all the time. Instead, they ebb and flow, just like my life does. 

Now if I could just make a buttermilk pie that tastes exactly like Deana’s!

“Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

I’m more excited about the Super Bowl this year than I have been since the Cowboys last played in it (yes, that’s a long time). I’m aware of the histories of these storied franchises. The Steelers have won more Super Bowls than any team. The Packers won more championships. The Lombardi Trophy honors the legendary Packers coach Vince Lombardi. As great as all that is that’s not why I’m excited.

I’m excited because this year I’m hoping to enjoy the game with some of the coolest people I know. Not only am I excited about who I get to watch the game with, but I’m pumped because it’s more than a game.

A week ago, a friend with a passion for orphans in Ethiopia, spoke at Refuge and inspired us – inspired me. This friend and others are working together to raise money for a school in Ethiopia. So, for this Super Bowl, I’ve invited some friends to join me to raise money for the school. 

I hope you might consider doing the same. It’s very simple. Select a team to root for (whether you’re a football fan or not) and pledge an amount for every point that team scores. Donate the money and let’s work together to make this Super Bowl more than just a game.

By the way, you can find out more at www.caseypicker.com/

“Blind Pharisee! First, clean the inside of the cup and dish, and the outside also will be clean.” – Jesus

“Each of us is here for a brief sojourn; for what purpose he knows not, though he senses it. But without deeper reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people.” Albert Einstein

The past few weeks have given me opportunities to slow down. First, I was able to spend time with a dear friend and mentor. The day with him was filled with conversation and silent presence.  Both the conversation and his presence provided much needed encouragement and insight into my ever-changing journey to become more like Christ. Since we share an interest in the outdoors and photography we hiked some and slowed down to take pictures. It was a great day. Thanks to God for people who help you see yourself more clearly than you can on your own.

The second opportunity I had was to spend 36 hours in a personal retreat at Subiaco Abbey, a Benedectine Monestary. My time there observing the rhythm of the monks who moved between prayer and work  spoke to my soul in deep, profound ways. I was able to slow down and just be. Brother Francis, the host of the abby’s retreat center was available and gracious. My conversations with him about spirituality and vocation re-energized me calling me back to my own vocation as a minister. It was exactly what I had needed. Little did I know that snowy day I drove to the abby how much I needed to be alone with God. Everything about the abbey inspired personal, intimate worship. Of all the places that inspired me, none provided more solace, more solitude, more divine embraces that the choir stall I sat/stood in for my day and a half there. The monks invite any retreatant to pray with them, so I did every time they gathered.  I felt God’s presence as we read Scripture, prayed Psalms, chanted liturgies and sat in silence. My only regret was that I didn’t get to stay longer. I will go back for a longer retreat.

In ministry it’s easy to become so busy we lose ourselves in our work. We’re tempted to think that being busy with God’s work is a good thing, which it is… except when we become so busy we leave little room in our lives to slow down, reflect, and examine.  We need moments where we stop and consider our vocation, our mission, ministry and lives. We need to assess our own spiritual growth and journey toward Christlikeness. Until the first of this year I didn’t realize how little I slowed down to ask deeper questions, reflect on who I’m becoming and allow God to search me.  I’m glad I finally did.

“Discipline yourself for the purpose of Godliness.” – The apostle Paul

“Jotham became mighty because he ordered his ways before the Lord.” – 2 Chronicles 27:6

It never seems to fail. I begin a year with what seems to be tremendous clarity and mission.  But somewhere along the way I get derailed. The hopes and expectations I set for myself were swallowed up by struggles, circumstances, people, and life. I have difficulty maintaining momentum for lengthy periods of time. My goal for this coming year is to experience longer periods of momentum in my life.

 And so I began this year differently. I began in silence and solitude reading the Gospels while asking, “How did Jesus stay the course? How did he sustain momentum?” It seems Jesus had a clear sense of mission and ordered his life around that mission. His desires were born out of his relationship with the Father. As I read, I rediscovered some things. First, Jesus regularly prayed. He prayed late at night, early in the morning, before making major decisions, in moments of sorrow. I used to think these were most often random, spontaneous times dictated by circumstances, needs and schedule. But after learning fixed-hour prayer and spending time with those who practice it daily I began to see that prayer was woven into the fabric of Jesus’ life. Brought up in Judaism, Jesus would have been well-versed in the practice of fixed-hour prayer. My guess is he continued that practice. Prayer was as big a part of Jesus’ daily routine as eating a meal.

Second, he didn’t live haphazardly. I think he took time to have fun, enjoy life, and connect with people, but he didn’t allow his life to take detours leading him away from his mission. As I looked at the descriptions of when and where he went, it became apparent Jesus moved with intention. He seemed to have a plan that he stuck to.

Third, Jesus invited others along. He shared some of his most personal, challenging moments with them. He prepared them for what was to come. He knew that to sustain momentum he must mentor and equip others around him to carry out his mission further. And at the right time, he passed the baton to them.

Finally, he combated temptations with specific truths from God’s Word. Nothing would have derailed his mission like sin, so Jesus became a student of the word by devoting himself to it. God’s Word was so ingrained in his heart he countered each lie with a specific truth.

The bottom line is this: Jesus didn’t take shortcuts; he was disciplined. He knew what he desired. He was clear about his mission; And he carried it out in the company of others.  

So, for 2011 I will resist taking shortcuts. I will do my best to guard my mission, to pray, remain in the Word and live with intention. I want to become more like Christ. I want to live with a sense of mission. I want my desires to become realities. I pray for discipline so that will happen. I pray for companions along the way. At the end of the year, I want to look back and say that I held nothing back; that I gave God everything.