This post was inspired by a recent blog post by Brandon Baker, a friend and fellow youth minister. You can read his post about asking questions HERE.
As one trained in education I was taught the importance of asking the right questions. Questions can lead to understanding, learning, and discovering. They can lead to more questions. The right questions unlock mystery, create mystery, and insight wonder. Questions can deepen relationships and create greater intimacy. When writing an exam, I worked tirelessly at creating questions that helped me assess the depth of understanding my students had of important concepts.
As a youth minister, I work just as hard phrasing questions that allow me to know my students better, help lead them to understanding, create community and discovery.
As a parent of a preteen I’m learning the art of asking the right questions. Questions like, “How was your day?” no longer lead to discussions and discovery about my daughter. Honestly, I’m still discovering the questions that unlock the mysteries of my daughter, but I’m getting better. I’m also learning the context in which to ask and the timing of the questions. It’s easy to want to give up asking questions and instead turn up the music, but I refuse. I refuse to stop seeking to know my child better, to ask the right questions, to walk with her as she becomes more like Christ. I want to be slow to speak and quick to listen. Questions allow for this to happen.
Instead of “Did you have fun?” I’m trying to ask questions like, “What is one specific truth you learned today?” or “What is one thing you discovered today?”
When it comes to your teen, what questions are you asking? I’d love to hear your ideas and thoughts.
